South African humour

South African Humour
(OK so these may not be politically correct and very stereotypical - yet the fact is things in SA
are this bad, and often the only way of coping with the situation is to laugh about it)


You know you live in South Africa when:

- You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer
- You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement
- You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car
- You can count the national soccer team's scores with no fingers
- To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750
- Hijacking cars is a profession
- You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light
- The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car
- "Just Now" can mean anything from a minute to a month
- You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction
- Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest car on the highway
- You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it
- A bullet train is being introduced but we can't fix potholes
- The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and road toll fees than you did for the entire holiday
- You paint your car's registration number on the roof
- Only half of your mail is guaranteed to reach its destination
- You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital
- Prisoners go on strike