Viagra advertisement at a doctor's room

Baie snaaks

3 ouens sterf in die weermag, en die Generaal moet hulle
metgeselle die nuus oordra.By die eerste huis vertel hy die soldaat
se vrou van
die ou se dood en sy huil so 'n bietjie.Die generaal wou toe weet
watse begrafnis
hulle moet reël."Wel, hy was baie lief vir hengel, so ek sal hom
maar veras en sy asse in die see gooi en hy sal gelukkig wees" sê sy
weduwee.
By die tweede huis vra die generaal dieselfde vraag aan die
vrou, en nadat sy 'n traan of twee gestort het, sê sy, "Hy was baie
lief vir jag,
so ek sal hom laat veras, en die asse in die jagveld strooi waar sy siel
lekker sal rus".
By die derde huis leer die generaal dat die laaste soldaat eintlik
'n moffie was en met 'n man getroud was. Nadat die moffie vir 'n uur
lank sy oë uitgehuil het sê hy "O hy was nie eintlik iemand wat ander
belange gehad het behalwe vir my nie. Hy was die wonderlikste minnaar. Hy was
ook baie lief vir kerrie en rissies, en ek het altyd die beste disse vir hom
voorberei, so ek dink ons moet hom veras, en ek sal weer een van my
spesiale warm disse maak en sy asse oor strooi, dan sal ek hom eet,
en dan kan hy
vir oulaas my gat weer lekker laat brand !"

Wheels of life

This funny in a way, but also so true and in a sence sad hey?

The Taxman

At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.

While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said: "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"
"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.

But on he went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all these biscuit purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question.

"We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of holy biscuits."

"I see!" replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi.

"Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."

A good wife can bring balance to your life!

Capetown robbery

A man with a gun went into a bank and demanded their money. Once he
was given the money, he turned to a customer and asked, "Did you see me
rob this bank?"

The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."

The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a coloured couple standing next to him and asked the
man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "Nay meneer ek hettie gasien nie, maar my vrou het!"

Hoza weekend

Hey its weekend time again and i am looking forward to another lekker weekend.Thanks for all the comments on my last posting regarding my late father.I have learned with this whole experience that life is short and that we must appreciate everything we have although its just borrowed to us.May main objective is to make peace with everyone i had issues with in my life, and to make friends and no enemies.Oh by the way i want to wish all moms a wonderfull mothersday and may you all be treated well and be treated very special.

Enjoy

Gerhard