Why i hate visiting rich people

Why I hate visiting rich people >>>???

Question: "What would you like to drink ... fruit juice, soda, tea, milo, chocolate, or coffee?" >

Answer: "Tea please"

Question: Ceylon tea, herbal tea, bush tea, honey bush tea, ice tea or green tea?"



Answer: " Ceylon tea please"

Question: "How would you like it? Black or white?"

Answer: "White please"

Question: "Milk, whitener, or condensed milk?"

Answer: "Milk please "

Question: "Goat milk, camel milk or cow milk?"

Answer: "Cow milk please."

Question: "Milk from Freezeland or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer : " Afrikaner cow please."

Question: " Warm or cold?"

Answer: "Warm please."

Question: "Full cream, low fat or fat free?"

Answer: "Umm ... I'll rather take it black please."

Question: "Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"

Answer: "With sugar please."

Question: "Beet sugar or cane sugar?"

Answer: "Cane sugar please."

Question: "White, brown or yellow sugar?"

Answer: "Just forget about the tea. I'll have a glass of water instead please."

Question: "Mineral or still water ? "

Answer: "Mineral water please."

Question: "Flavoured or non-flavoured ?"

Answer: "Hey footsek mann! Just get me water from the river... I don't wanna know which river, and stop asking me too many questions

Really big

How is this for size?

And you thought your tax money is going to waste!

Do they really need such an expensive vehicle?

Cars,Cars and the true meaning

CARS
|-----------+----------------------------------------------------------
--|
| BMW | BRINGS ME WOMEN
|
|-----------+----------------------------------------------------------
--|
| FIAT | Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
|
|-----------+----------------------------------------------------------
--|
| FORD | found on rubbish dump
|
|-----------+----------------------------------------------------------
--|
| HYUNDAI | Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And
Inexpensive....
|
|-----------+----------------------------------------------------------
--|
| VOLVO | Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
|
|-----------+----------------------------------------------------------
--|
| PORSCHE | Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
|
|-----------+----------------------------------------------------------
--|
| KIA | Kills In Accidents
|
|-----------+----------------------------------------------------------
--|
| OPEL | Old People Ending Lives
|
|-----------+----------------------------------------------------------
--|
| GOLF/GTI | Girls Only Love Fun / Get Them Inside
|
|-----------+----------------------------------------------------------
--|
| HONDA | Hanged Over, Now Driving Away
|
|-----------+----------------------------------------------------------
--|
| POLO | Panties Off, Legs Open
|
|-----------+----------------------------------------------------------

Choose your drink!!!!!!!!!!

Alcohol Types

Men

1. Castle - unimaginative, boring, civil servant types stuck in a job they hate , who drinks alcohol purely because they do not have DSTV or girlfriend. This type thinks NuMetro is a kind of posh train service and that News Café is a bookshop. If you are a boss and you are looking for a loyal employee, look no further than a Castle drinker. Loyalty is the buzz word and very patriotic due to an influence by the Castle Lager ads.


2. Hansa - this group is made up mostly of guys who used to be on the cutting edge 10 years ago in the 90's - but nobody has told them that having a studded fake diamond earring in one ear and gold-capped teeth ceased being socially-acceptable in 1994. Because 90% of them have a cheesekop, they think anyone with any hair "i-bhari". They have passed their sell by dates.
They wear all these fake brand names- Lacoste, Boss, etc bought on the
street and claim it's genuine.

3. Carling Black Label - stay away from this lot. If they have never been
to jail it's because our Safety and Security Ministry is so inefficient or they are out on bail. Thugs, gangsters, murderers, Pirates fans and wife-beaters, babizana ngo Bhakabhaka, you end up not knowing his real name.
Will never own a better car than a 1992 Mazda Sting with 17-inch rims, and a sound system more expensive than the car. They also drink Smirnoff- the
Vodka.

4. Amstel - wannabe intellectual types who are label-conscious. On a
Saturday afternoon the average Amstel drinker is typically dressed in a Bafana jersey, Fake Diesel jeans and red R1,200 Nike sneakers. Typically drive a Golf V and own a Nokia 9300 phone and live on a credit card.


5. Heineken - wannabe, pretentious types who fancy themselves to be unique
and on the cutting edge. Truth be told, they hate the taste of Heineken but will be damned if they will have their first love, Hansa. In 10 years, they will be just like today's Hansa drinkers i.e. the guys everybody laughs at because they suport Swallows.

6. Windhoek Lager - read the Heineken description but add, "don't have the money to buy Heineken" They probably think it's a European beer when in
actual fact its made in Namibia of all countries!!!

7. Miller - closet fags who only have Miller in public. Truth be told,
they are really Brutal Fruit/Bacardi Breezer/Smirnoff Spin drinkers in
private. Indulge in Smirnoff in private and call it "shooters"

8. Savannah - alcoholics who are acutely aware of that "6% v/v" on the
label, damn drunkards who get what the money is worth.

9. Castle Milk Stout - aggressive alcoholics who do not know what "6% v/v"
means. They support Amazulu FC and baqeda ibabaalaaz nge sorghum beer
ngakusasa. You can use the toilet after them, the smell is poisonous and
toxic and the kaka is dark brown muddy mess.

10. Castle Lite - serious alcoholics who have bought in into that "the one to have when you're having more than one". They are generally intelligent but argumentative types who secretly resent Milk Stout and Savannah drinkers because that is what they really want to drink. They tend to like quoting statistics, "you know that the calorie content in a regular beer is equivalent to 7 seven loaves of bread" they'll say as they down their 17 th
beer.

11. Hunter's Dry - reformed beer drinkers or rural types with big hands
(from ploughing).

12. Bacardi Breezer/Brutal Fruit/ Hooch/Smirnoff Spin - one of two
things, (a) f.ags or (b) newcomers to the drinking game. But a will be the correct choice

13. Wine - fags.

14. J&B/Dewars - poor. Cannot tell the difference between whisky and
brandy.

15. Jack Daniels/Johnny Walker Red and Black - like whisky but do not
know the difference between bourbon and a Scotch. Drink whisky because they just like the taste. Drink it because they just want to show off. Five years ago they drank 100 Reserve Oude Molen .

16. Jameson/Glenfiddick/Chivas/Dimple - serious whisky connoisseurs,
drive Beemers and Merc's 4X4's. Probably support Sundowns and talk BEE, think they will one day be like Patrice Matsepe

17. Smirnoff 1818 - check Carling Black Label description the add
"rapists" to it. They wear all stars, will go to any house with a tent call it "ithiphu"

18. Mellowood/ Richelieu/ Martell/ Klipdrift (and similar) - violent.
Call every spirit "brandy", even Johnnie Walker. If less than 40 in age, poor. Chances are they will own a Kaizer Chiefs/ Pirates makalabha and a vuvuzela to go with it... bathi yonke insipho iyawasha. Bavele bathi umuntu
o clean uyayitshela ufaka ama perfume, ogcoba ama dawn etc

19. KWV 10/Klipdrift Premium (and similar) - actually like brandy but can
never tell if its potstill or what.

20. KWV 5 - wannabe brandy connoisseur without the money, just want to be
seen.

Women

1. Any beer - s.lut.

2. Milk Stout - p.rostitute, marhosha oshibhile obiza from R20 but don't
go above R50.

3. Barcadi Breezer/Hooch - believe men owe them a living and do not
really know that Hooch's go for R16 a pop at News Café because they have never actually bought it for themselves. At their own places you will find Brutal Fruit/Smirnoff Spin empties in their waste, they probably stole from a party elsewhere.

4. Brutal Fruit/Smirnoff Spin - cheap bargain hunters you will generally
see in the front of the Edgars Red Hanger Sale, a man buy them a half pack and they take their clothes off. They can sleep anywhere and they don't have the word class in their vocabulary.

5. Wine by the glass - pretentious b-tches that think they have arrived
because they drive a Peugeot 206/Renault Clio. They live in snazzy townhouse they can't afford and are probably at the pub looking for a dumb arseh-le to subsidize their car instalments/ townhouse rent/overdraft repayments. Bayafa yindlala emaflethini abo, ubona ngenkunzi yeklabishi, nemayonnaise, namanzi afakwe kwi mineral water bottle and yet its tap water. Will tell you she is on diet and gulp all the food at a restaurant.

6. Wine by the bottle - (bottles of JC Le Roux, Cold Duck, Graca Rose or
similar excluded.) Classy. Powerful. Know what they want and generally have a Beemer parked outside. Money is not a problem, probably have a young man
(Toyboy) on the side just to keep her happy and do the work the serious boyfriend cant because he is probably busy with BEE deals.

7. Amarula Cream (and similar) - Hornay. Like all the time, empeleni nje
banempene.

8. Whisky (any whisky) - even hornier, bayazicelela ipipi, if you fail
ukumchamisa, will dump you.

9. Brandy (any brandy) - hornay civil servant types, basebenzela o department of Home Affairs/ Housing/ Social services/ works etc/ agriculture
etc.

10. Non drinkers - Bazenza amakholwa but in actual fact bazama ukuthola umendo. Probably they are pass the marriageable age and they look at the churches for guidance. Also probably HIV positive now living a longer clean life

Classic story

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft.The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a
test. "You are employed" he said. "Give me your e-mail address and I'll
send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may
start".The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email." "I'm
sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you
do not exist. And person who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only
$10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than
two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation
three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can
survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return
late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of
delivery vehicles. 5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food
retailers in the US . He started to plan his family's future, and
decided
to have a life insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a
protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked
him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email ". The broker
answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to
build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an
email?!!"The man thought for a while and replied, " Yes, I'd be an office boy at
Microsoft!"

Moral of the story
M1- Internet /email is not the solution to your life.
M2- If you don't have internet / email , but you work hard, you can be
a millionaire.
M3 If you received this message by email, you are probably already an
office boy/girl, and not any close to being a Billionaire...
Have a great day !!!

Breaking the sound barrier

Deep trouble

Rather him than me if you know what i mean.He is going to get more than he bargained for.

New question added to driver test

This question has just been added to the SA DRIVING THEORY test.

There is only one answer, but be careful now!


Driving Test Question :

You are driving along a two lane road with a NO OVERTAKING sign,
and come upon a bicycle rider. Do you follow this slow-moving bicycle rider
for the next 2 miles, or do you break the law and pass?


Which is the correct choice?




My personal answer would have been:

Why take unnecessary risks ?
ARRIVE ALIVE !!

Funny S.A joke he he he !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mbeki, Jacob Zuma, Geraldine Fraser-Moleketi and Manto Tsabalala Msimang were flying together in the President's jet.
Thabo Mbeki suddenly said: "You know what. I can throw a R500 right now out of this window and make someone happy."

Jacob Zuma said: "I can throw five R 100 notes out of the window and I will make 5 people unbelievably happy."

Geraldine said: "I will give government employees 7.25% salary increase and make millions happy".

Manto said : "I  can throw ten R 50 notes out of the window and make 10 people very, very happy."

The one pilot looks at the other and says:
"Listen to those 4 showoffs  at the back... I can throw all 4 of them out of the window right now and I will make the whole country very happy!"

The ink Spots

The Ink Spots have been called living legends of American music; one of the most influential vocal groups of all time and the most imitated entertainers in show business. The Ink Spots 'story spans six decades, more than 80 chair hits and performances throughout the world.

While numerous personnel changes have taken place within the group in its 60 + years of existence, the familiar close harmonies remain The Ink Spots' stock in trade. Making up the current group are bass singer-narrator Harold Winley, second lead Sonny Hatchett, lead tenor Grant Kitchings; and the newest Ink Spot, baritone and guitarist, Morris Dow.

The Ink Spots' story begins in Indianapolis, Indiana in 1932, when four young men - Deek Watson, Charles Fuqua, Orville "Hoppy" Jones and Jerry Daniels - formed the first version of the group. The quartet performed as the Riff Brothers and the Percolating Puppies before settling on the Ink Spots name. In search of a recording contract, the group headed to New York City, where they met up with singer Bill Kenny, who replaced Daniels as the group's lead tenor in 1936. Three years later, The Ink Spots had their first million-selling record, "If I Didn't Care'. The song, which would be their biggest hit, ultimately sold 19 million copies.

Kenny left the group for a solo career in 1945. The replacement was Jim Nabbie and the hits continued over the next decade; I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire, To Each His Own, My Prayer, I'll Never Smile Again, A Lovely Way To Spend An Evening, Java Jive, Maybe, Into Each Life Some Rain May Fall, We Three, It's A Sin To Tell A Lie, Don't Get Around Much Anymore, Prisoner of Love ... and on and on. s the remaining original members left the group, it was up to Nabbie to keep things going. Frustrated by acts billing themselves as The Ink Spots, Nabbie acquired the rights to the Ink Spots' name and registered it as a trademark. While the frequency of hits slowed in the mid '50's, The Ink Spots' influence was heard in the many doo-wop vocal groups formed during this period, as well as many groups, like the Temptations, which would come along later. The Ink Spots' musical impact was recognized formally in 1987 when inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame and into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1989. They have been inducted into the Apollo Hall of Fame and, in 1997, into the Vocal Group Hall of Fame.

Nabbie and the rest of the Ink Spots continued to tour, in the neighborhood of some 200 dates a year. Especially pleasing were the 1 0 to 20 college dates the group would perform each year, where young people, many of whose parents weren't born at the time of The Ink Spots' first hits, would get their first chance to hear the quartet. Nabbie claimed that he was always amazed that younger audiences would accept the "old timers" music so enthusiastically.

In September 1992, Jim Nabbie, "Mr. Ink Spots for 47 years, passed away, just before the start of an European tour. The Ink Spots were faced suddenly with the prospect of carrying on without their longtime friend and colleague.

But carry on the group has! Grant, who had been with The Ink Spots many years ago, was welcomed immediately by audiences with standing ovations. And so it appears that The Ink Spots will remain a viable musical entity for many years to come.

The 4 stages of life

Check hierdie cute outjie (Boelie)

The perfect anti-hijack system in South Africa.

Glo jy in die voorspellings van Siener Van Rensburg?

Nicolaas Pieter Janse van Rensburg was een van die merkwaardigste figure in ons volksgeskiedenis. Hy is in 1864 op 'n plaas naby Wolmaranstad gebore en in 1926 in die ouderdom van 61 jaar oorlede.

Behalwe dat hy kon lees en skryf, was hy verder ongeletterd. Nogtans het bekendes soos genl Koos de la Ray en C R de Wet hom dikwels geraadpleeg. Hy het sy eerste gesig gehad toe hy 7 jaar oud was en daarna meer as 700 tot en met sy dood. Hy het die meeste van sy gesigte self verklaar.

Tydens sy leeftyd het baie van sy gesigte in vervulling gegaan. Die meeste moet egter nog in vervulling gaan. Een wat tans besig is om in vervulling te gaan, is die gebeure in Zimbabwe wat Siener baie duidelik voorspel het.

Hoe het hy aan sy toekomskennis gekom? Daar is twee maniere waarop kennis van die toekoms bekom kan word; of deur begenadiging van God of deur die werking van die Satan. Alhoewel God alleen alwetend is, beskik Satan oor 'n beperkte kennis van die toekoms wat hy aan boosheidsbewerkers bekend maak.

In 1 Sam 28 bid Saul op die vooraand van 'n oorlog teen die Filistyne dat God vir hom die uitslag vooraf bekend moet maak. As gevolg van sy afvalligheid het God hom nie geantwoord nie, waarna hy hom tot die heks van Endor gewend het. Saul het dus geweet op watter twee maniere toekomskennis bekom kon word - of deur God of deur die Satan.

Deur wie se mag het Siener in die toekoms gesien? Deur die van God. Hy het nooit met enige bose mag omgegaan nie. Hy was 'n diep gelowige en kon sy voorkennis derhalwe van niemand anders as God ontvang het nie....Gaan besoek gerus http://www.sienervanrensburg.co.za/uittreksel.html vir meer info

Die nuwe Boeing 787

Ek sal dit like om n flip in die outjie te kry,vlieg gaan nooit weer dieselfde wees nie net beter of hoe?

Ietsie vir die Bloues